Blanca Alfani

Is there anything in this world more annoying, tedious, and utterly useless than body hair? Look, I get it, there was a time in our evolutionary history where humans genuinely needed it to survive the elements. But haven’t we evolved enough by now to finally move past this? There is absolutely zero practical need for a hairy torso in modern times. Or is there? I suppose we'll just have to wait a few more centuries for evolution to do its thing and make it disappear on its own. Until then, we are destined to battle it one way or another. Before coming out, I had only shaved my legs exactly once in my entire life. It was during my college days, right at the start of the fall semester. I calculated the timeline perfectly, I knew I’d be wearing long pants all winter, and I wasn’t planning on going back home to visit family until spring. That gave me a safe window for a full regrow. As soon as the semester started, I executed the plan. Now, I’ve never been a naturally Sasquatch level ha...

One of the most recurring thoughts in my head is, without a doubt, hormones. Before I dive into this delicate subject, I want to make it perfectly clear again that I am not a doctor. I have zero medical knowledge other than knowing how to apply a Band-Aid over a paper cut. I am in no way telling you that you should or should not take hormones; I am simply expressing the thoughts born out of my own ignorance. I will most likely get some facts wrong or talk pure nonsense, so please do not take my words as medical or psychological advice of any kind. Okay, having said that, let’s dive in. On the surface, hormones seem like that magical solution we see in fantasy stories. One pill, and we would be instantly transformed into the amazingly stunning woman we have dreamed of all our lives. In a way, I guess you could say they are kind of magical. Obviously, it doesn't happen with just one pill or injection, but hormones do eventually transform your body. Want breasts? Hormones give you br...

As promised, here’s my wife’s first post of hopefully many more to come. I’ll leave you now with her story: One afternoon, my husband and I went for a walk, and as we were walking, he brought up an article he'd read about a married man who had decided to start wearing high heels and skirts to work and how even his wife and daughter actually helped him coordinate his outfits. That started a whole conversation of which I don't remember every detail, but I do remember we concluded that I wouldn't mind at all if he wanted to dress like that. If it made him happy and comfortable, why not? After all I do believe clothes don't define a person. We got home, went through our normal evening routine, everything as usual, nothing out of the ordinary, we prepared everything for the next day, and went to sleep. It was an ordinary night. We had even managed to go to bed early because we were both exhausted, so by 2:00 AM, I was deeply asleep. Suddenly I don't know what happened bu...

One of the things I most wanted to find before and after coming out, was information about the partners of crossdressers and trans women. Not articles written from our perspective about how our wives reacted, but genuine, unfiltered words straight from the wives, girlfriends, and partners themselves. I think that perspective is a crucial missing piece out there. It’s information that is not only profoundly valuable for us, but potentially extremely helpful for our partners. I’m sure so many partners out there are desperate to understand this other side of the person they love. They want to know the whys and the hows. But above all, I think they just need to know they aren't alone, that this is far more common than society leads us to believe, and that plenty of couples have successfully navigated these uncharted waters together successfully. Among the precious few resources I ever stumbled across was an article written by my friend’s partner titled  “ Ask Hannah’s Wife .”  It ...

Okay, so this is the second and final part. If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, definitely check that out first so you're all caught up! If you already have, let’s continue. Being able to understand and relate to girls on a much deeper level than other boys meant that I naturally had far more girl friends than guy friends. Unfortunately, though, I think that very same sensitivity also prevented me from having a romantic girlfriend for a long time. Most girls at that young age were drawn to the "tough kid," the athlete, or the popular guy, not the sensitive kid who genuinely enjoyed their company and sat with them to listen to their problems. Thankfully, that dynamic changes later in life (in some cases). It wasn't until college, when I finally gained regular access to the internet, that the world truly opened up to me. For the very first time, I realized I wasn’t alone. I was finally finding people who shared my exact struggles, and it was then that I learned the first tw...

As I’m writing this post, I’m realizing it might get pretty long. Since I don’t know if you prefer long reads or shorter ones, I think I’ll split it into two, or maybe three if it gets absurdly long! Definitely let me know your preference in the comments, though. When I was a child, I obviously didn’t know I was trans. I didn’t even know that word existed. As far as I knew, everyone in the world was either a boy, a girl, or gay (more on that in a bit). I just assumed I was a boy because, well, everything pointed to that conclusion. I looked like a boy, my parents and everyone else treated me like a boy, I had a boy’s name, and ultimately, I had a boy’s body. But inside, I didn’t feel like a boy. It’s not like I was completely miserable either; I had friends, I enjoyed certain sports, and I took part in typical boy activities. But something deep inside was just different. I wasn’t mature enough to understand or articulate what it was, but I knew it was there. I enjoyed being around gir...

Since I wrote about movies in a previous post, I want to touch on a closely related subject. Recently, I watched a movie on Netflix called " Girl" . It is a 2018 Belgian film about a fifteen year old trans girl named Lara who wants to become a professional ballerina while simultaneously going through her transition. The movie won quite a few awards, and personally, I really liked it. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but I cried, it is a deeply emotional film, and I could certainly identify with her. The story is inspired by the life of Nora Monsecour, a trans female dancer from Belgium, so we know it’s not an entirely made up story. However, I don't want to talk about the movie itself, but rather about something surrounding it that really bothers me. In my other post, I wrote about how movies are an art form, and how they are completely subjective. What gets my blood boiling is all of these so-called “critics” who think they know better. Even though the fil...